Thief stabs U.S. Marine, suffers painful fall

You just have to love U.S. Marines like Corporal Phillip Duggan and the unnamed Augusta, Georgia law enforcement officer who wrote the police report on this incident, which took place in late November 2010:

His stupidity not proven sufficiently by shoplifting at Best Buy, this criminal assaulted one of four Marines collecting Toys for Tots at the store. The final paragraph in the news clipping above reads:

"The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose, and a broken jaw... injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off the curb after stabbing the Marine," according to a police report.

The Augusta Chronicle crime blotter story is a little more straightforward. The Hinterland Gazette also covered the story here. True Crime Report has more on this story here. The money quote? Their disclaimer: "WARNING: The following story contains so much manliness it might cause your rent to be raised."